Sunday, November 30, 2008
I have to write it down or i'm gonna forget it.
It was night time and i was at home. It sorta looked like my house that i live in now but then again it didnt. You know how dreams are but i knew in my dream that it was my house, So.. I told myself that i needed to go outside and look at something. When i went outside i didnt have a porch. I just had like three concrete steps that would get me out of my house. When i came out of my house i was like on a roof somewhere. I started to walk towards the edge because i needed to check something out. I walked across this area that was full of buttons and light bulbs and things that would be on a roof that you arent suppose to walk thru. I get to the edge and look over onto the city. The city was dark and quiet and creepy looking. It reminded me of Gotham City. Just ominous and looking like trouble. So i made my way back to my house and when i get to my steps i notice that there are two people sitting there. I cant make out one person but the other person is a woman who looks like she was crying. I walked passed them and into my house. When i get in there everyone is sleeping except for my mom (she passed away two years ago). I whisper to her, "Mom, we have got to move out of here as soon as we can!" She then tells me ok but right now she is gathering up and organizing some pictures so that i have them when she leaves. I start to think about her plants and the ones that i havent killed and i think to myself that i need to water the gardenia plant or maybe put a bag over it so she doesnt see that its dying. Then i notice other people milling around the inside of the house. I cant really remember who they were but i remember thinking they were some of my exhusbands family. They were moving around the kitchen. Next thing i know me and my daughter are in my backyard. It looks like my backyard but it isnt my deck but instead its a stair case sideways leading up to my back door. Its still dark and the porch light is on but my daughter and i are in some sort of little vehicle. Its little enough to fit up these steps. I am sitting in front driving it but i am facing backwards and my daughter is in the back facing me. I know i have to drive this thing up the back steps and thru the back door. I start to drive it up the back steps but realize that its not going to fit in the back door. My daughter tells me its not going to fit and we are going to have to go back down the back steps. I tell her to hang on and we go baboom baboom baboom down the steps. I ask what kind of vehicle this is and my daughter tells me its an ambulance. (it didnt look like an ambulance). So i maneuver this thing thru mud in my backyard and try to fit it thru the side gate but just then someone comes thru the door. He looked like some actor that i cant remember and he walks straight over to my back gate which is way wider than the side gate. He talks to my daughter and im not really sure what they were talking about and then leaves back out the side gate. Its daylight now and in my mind i am thinking that all these people at my house are getting ready to leave to go camping and that my daughter and i must be doing that too. I asked this actor guy if everyone has left and he says no. My daughter tells me that this vehicle we are in will not fit thru the side gate that we need to take it thru the back gate and down the alley because she says that is how she brought it in. So before we do that i go to the back door to make sure that it is locked. The bottom lock is locked but the top lock isnt. I realize the dog is outside so i let her in. I then try to lock both locks with my key but the top lock wont lock so i ask my ex husbands mom, who is dressed in her nightgown and robe, (and who died several years ago) to help me lock the top lock. She smiles at me and locks it. Then i get back in this vehicle thing and realize that it looks like my grandsons big yellow dump truck but bigger. I start to take off and realize that my daughter is sunbathing in the back of this dump truck wearing a red polka dotted bikini.
Then my phone rang and i woke up.
What a weird dream! I remember that i had a weird dream earlier and had woken up but i dont even remember that one. I like to analize my dreams but that one exhausted me just remembering it! Later i'll look at it again and maybe analize it again. I told my daughter about this dream and she just laughed and laughed. She said it sounded like a stress dream. She's probably right!
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Since my last posting a lot has happened.
Lets start with my car and the kids.
My ex husband got up yesterday and couldnt find the key to my car. If you remember, in my daughters rush to pack up the car, she lost her car key. The key to my car. The only car we have that she took to her dad's for Thanksgiving. He lives two hours away from me. Because the baby got sick and was sent by ambulance to a hospital back home in St Louis, my car and my grandkids were stuck at my ex husbands house. So he couldnt find the key. Lucky for us i have the backseats that pull down in my car so one of my granddaughters were able to get in the trunk and pull the little lever and pop open the trunk. They dug through my trunk and all the things in it and found the key in a tennis shoe. His wife drove my car and my grandkids home and someone followed in another car to take her back home. They were nice to me when they dropped them off but according to my daughter and my grandkids they were complaing and acting as if the whole incident was a big inconvenience to them. My ex can be a real jerk sometimes but that's another story for another time.
Now on to my little hunny gurl.
I went up and seen her in the hospital yesterday. She looks so pitiful that i just want to cry. They had to intubate her (put a tube down her throat into her lungs) and they have a feeding tube in her nose down into her stomach. She has a montior on one foot and some sort of cuff on the other. She has an IV in both her hands that are on boards with tape wrapped around them to keep her hands straight. She has this big tube laying acrossed her chest and has little pads stuck to her chest. She is hooked up to two monitors and has several bags of fluid dripping into her from her IV. They have her sedated so that she doesnt mess with any of this but they have her little hands restrained, strapped down to the bed.
When they were putting the tube down her throat she tried to bite them. lol. She's a little fighter that one is! Our family pediatrician came in and she was awake. She tried to wave to him in her little baby way even though her hands were strapped down.
While i was there the sedation medication started to wear off while they were suctioning out her lungs and just adjusting all the tubing. She kicked and she pulled her arms and she just tried to get out of that position. She likes to sleep on her side and they have her on her back. She looks comfortable when she is sleeping but i know she would prefer tobe on her side. I rubbed her hair and her her feet and sang "High Hopes" and "Ive Been Working on the Railroad" to her. It seemed to calm her down. Oldest Grandgirlie came with me and she sang songs to her too.
The nurses were all very nice and thoughtful. I felt that i was in the way when i was rubbing girlie's hair but they told me that i wasnt, that they wanted the baby to be comforted. Then right before we were leaving last night the nursing shift changed. A nurse came in and she was very nice but she was hard to understand because she talked really low and through her teeth. She never seemed to open her teeth when she talked!
As i was standing there rubbing baby girls feet and hair she started speaking to me. I could barely understand what she was saying. She was saying it with a smile but i just couldnt hear her. She said it to me again a little louder but still with a smile. This nurse told me that she didnt want anyone touching the baby unless she was aggitated and needed comforting. She said that they want her to stay calm and if everyone was touching her that wasnt going to happen. She told me that i needed to tell that to everyone that came to see her. Um. Ok.
So when my daughter came back into the room and the nurse left my daughter asked me if something happened because i looked a little aggrivated. I told her what the nurse said. I told her i understood what the nurse wanted and that she just wanted what was best for the baby but i was still going to touch the baby. My daughter said she agreed. She figured it was just that nurses style.
So as i was leaving i went over to baby girl and started rubbing her hair and her feet and i told her i loved her. As i leaned over the bed a buzzer went off. Apparently when you touch the bed this happens. The nurse came in and smiled and mumbled something to me thru her teeth. So I said to her...
"I didnt quite understand what you just said but i'm sure you were telling me not to touch her". Then i smiled.
She smiled back at me and said, "You touched the bed and made it beep".
Then we laughed and she patted my back.
Dont touch me.
Friday, November 28, 2008
My daughter called me earlier at about 2:30 am to tell me that her and the baby have made it to the hospital here in St Louis.
She called me back about 2 hours later to tell me that they have the baby admitted and they have her in the ICU. She said they have her hooked up to all kinds of things. Having her in the ICU scares me. One good thing is that there is one nurse per child. The doctor told my daughter that when babies are sick like this they put them in the Intensive Care Unit to keep a really good eye on them.She said it's because there is a possibility that when a baby falls asleep being this sick that they could stop breathing,
I am so glad they are back home in a really good hospital.
I know i only have 7 followers but if you read my blog...please say a prayer for my little Sugar Sweet Hunny Gurl.
She said her dad's wife went up to the hospital to sit with the baby while my daughter went back to the house to get some clothes and pack up the car. While she was at the house her dad's wife called from the hospital to say that they were going to transport the baby to another hospital because she was getting worse and this hospital did not have a Pediatrician on staff.
What kind of a hospital does not have a pediatrician on staff?!?!?!?!
They told her that they were going to send her to a hospital in Springfield Illinois, an hour away north of where she is or to a hospital in St Louis 2 hours south from where she is. As my daughter was rushing to get the things in the car her car key fell off her key ring. And now she cant find it. She doesnt know if it fell on the ground or if it fell in the trunk. And the trunk is closed and the trunk pop is broke. She borrwed her Dads truck to get back to the hospital and she called me on her way back. I could barely understand what she was saying because she was talking fast and crying. I told her to calm down and get back to the hospital and i will talk to her dad. I call him and he tells me that he doesnt know WHAT is going on. He says that they will have to look for the car key in the morning when there is more light. He started to get an attitude with me and i told him that all i'm concerned about is that the baby is ok and how my car and my other grandchildren are going to get home. He tells me that they will get my car and kids home by morning.
So just now my daughter calls. She is in the ambulance and they are on thier way back to St Louis to a hospital here. I am glad they are bringing the baby back here to St Louis. I'm a little bothered that my other grandchildren and my car are still at my ex-husbands house. I need to have my kids home. I worry about them when they arent home.
I have a really sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
I was a little sad last night. In fact i had a good cry. My daughter and my grandkids left last night to visit my daughter's dad for Thanksgiving today. That meant that they wouldnt be here with me on Thanksgiving.
I knew about this for a while. It was his turn in his family to have the Thanksgiving dinner so his whole family was going to his house for the holiday. He owns a bowling alley so he was having this big shin dig there. Dinner and bowling and kareoke. He lives about 2 hours away so my daughter and the kids were going to go up there last night so that my daughter wasnt too tired from driving and she could enjoy the day. My sister and i were going to go to my brother's house for dinner with him and his kids and kids-in-law and all his grandkids. My sister and i opted for a quiet day at home. I never have a quiet day at home so this was a nice opportunity to cook some turkey and have all the fixings and just lay around all day watching TV and doing nothing.
But when they left last night i cried. I miss those crazy kids when they are gone. Littlest grandgirlie wasnt feeling well. She had a runny nose that we thought was just a cold brought on by some major teething. A couple weeks ago we took her to the doctor and they had to give her a breathing treatment of albuteral. Her older sister has asthma. I had asthma as a kid. Now little girlie is showing all the signs of the same thing. So after her last incident they sent her home with a nebulizer and we picked up some medicine so that we could give her a treatment at home whenever she needed it.
Yesterday we decided that since she had a little cold that it would be a great idea to bring that nebulizer and the medicine incase she needed a breathing treatment. But we couldnt find the medicine. We searched the house up one side and down the other and we still couldnt find it. My daughter said that if she needed a treatment she would call the doctors exchange and have them call in a prescription.
Well she needed a breathing treatment and the pharmacy in the small little hicktown he lives in was closed. So she took her to the emergency room at this little town hospital.
Thats where they are at now. They checked her breathing and it was at an 85. It should be at 100. They put her on oxygen and hooked her up to an I.V. and then took a chest xray. Then they drew some blood. They came back and said that she has pneumonia in one lung and they are going to admit her for observation overnight.
I feel totally helpless.
My daughter depends on me for support. Because i work in a doctors office my daughter depends on me when it comes to the childrens health. I wish they were home. I wish she was at a Children's Hospital and not some small town place. I told her if she didnt feel comfortable there that she should request that they transport the baby to St Louis to a childrens hospital. I asked her if it was just for observation and she said yes. I asked her if she felt comfortable with the baby being there and she said yes. So they are staying.
I could hear babygirl in the background. She sounded miserable. I cant believe how quickly it came on her. The nurse told my daughter that the same thing happened to her daughter. She put her down for a nap and when she woke up she was very ill.
I'm praying for her tonight.
I cant wait for them to come home.
P.S. I found her medicine. Someone had put it in the refrigerator!
Sunday, November 23, 2008
They were about not knowing where my daughter was and then about when she finally came home.
She's home safe now
I deleted them because i am mad at her.
She was passed out drunk at a friends house.
We missed an important doctors appointment because of it.
Friday, November 21, 2008
The picture below is what i paid for gas this morning.
The picture below is what gas was at the same gas station on my way home from work tonight.Can you see that it says $1.49??? You all may be bored with my obsession with gas prices but i am just sooo tickled that the prices just keep falling. If gas gets to be under $1.00 i'm gonna celebrate by doing something wild and crazy! Any suggestions??
I wrote the entry below in my AOL Journal on 8/20/2005. This past Summer i reminded everyone of this entry but that was when gas prices were almost $4.00 a gallon.
What is up with gas prices these day?
Ya know, I dont claim to be an expert on that whole oil embargo, Department of Energy, Cost per barrel mumbo jumbo. I couldnt talk my way out of a paper bag with it. I just dont get it. Whatever happened to the days when you could say "fillerup" and then hand the guy a ten dollar bill?
I remember when gas was .43 cents a gallon. I also remember back in the '70s when you were limited to 5 bucks worth of gas. Those were the good ol' days.
Now, i'm searching for gas less than $2.55 a gallon. Dang! Just typing that irritates me! A year ago i was having a fit having to pay $1.73! I told myself then, if i had to pay over 2 bucks a gallon i was gonna shoot my car and take public transportation.
I dont like buses.
My car got a reprieve but my pocketbook didnt. I can not believe i am actually paying over 2 and a half dollars for gas! That is just ridiculous! I know that my friend in Cali will tell me that he pays over 3 bucks a gallon already. Look..you live in LA! All the movie stars live there and they can afford to put 60 dollars in the gas tank every other day! I'm small town America! Idontwannapaythatmuchforgas! I need a bicycle. Yeah thats it. No wait. It rains. Then there is snow. Jeez. These oil companies really got us by the~ ahem~ throats.
Hey, at least im not the guy in the Hummer that passes me everday on my way to work. No...i'm just the one that, in the 100 degree heatwave has all her windows down at 7am in the morning on her way to work cuz she doesnt wanna use up all her gas on air conditioning.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
My Grandkids love music too. I can catch my 4 year old Grandson mindlessly singing the theme song from Scooby Doo or just singing the catchty diddy from the movie Madagascar..."i like to move it move it...i like to move it move it". Middle Grandgirlie just breaks out in song while she's dancing across the room and Older Grandgirlie hums all the time. She's the one with the great voice. She is 10 years old and was picked to be in Honors Choir at her school and she has a solo in the Christmas program singing Santa Claus is Coming To Town. I can catch her singing songs that she hears me singing to the baby. One of my favorites to sing to her is High Hopes by Frank Sinatra. Ya know...the one about the ant who has high hopes and oops there goes another rubber tree plant. She sings Bicycle Built For Two and I've Been Working on the Railroad and then in the next breath will sing a Christina Aguliera song note for note.
I remember when my daughter was about 2 years old. It was Christmas time 1982. The Cardinals had won the World Series that October and all was right in the world. We were in the car going somewhere and we were singing songs like always. We were singing Christmas Carols and Chestnuts Roasting On An Open Fire was one of my favorites to sing. "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire...Jack Frost nipping at your nose....". My two year old daughter always mimiced me and i could hear her in the backseat singing away.
"Chestnuts roasting on an open fire. Jack Clark nipping at your nose....".
Jack Clark was the first baseman for the St Louis Cardinals and i was sooo in love with him.
That tickled me. I sure would have liked Jack Clark nipping at my nose!
Monday, November 17, 2008
Friday, November 14, 2008
Thats my daughter (on the right) with her friend at the New Kids On The Block concert last Monday night. Natasha Beningfield was the opening act and my daughter said she put on a pretty good show. But when the New Kids On The Block came out she said it felt very nostalgic. She took a million pictures and sang and danced to all their songs.
The New Kids On The Block on a round stage below where my daughter was sitting.
The New Kids On The Block singing "I'll Be Loving You Forever".
My daughter got home from this concert about 3:30 am and came into my room to tell me about it. She was so excited! She gave me a big hug and thanked me for getting her the tickets. She said she had the best time. We sat there and looked at all her pictures and she told me about how they had aged but still looked fine and that they could still do the dance moves they did when they were younger. It was like she was a little girl again telling me about a wonderful time she just had. She thanked me again and gave me another hug.
Little does she know but this was a little nostalgic for me as well.
This picture was taken sometime about 1990. My mom is in the center of my nieces and nephew and my daughter is on the right in the back row. My mother and i were taking all the kids to the New Kids On The Block concert at Busch Stadium. In this picture we were on the McDonalds riverboat on the Mississippi River. We ate dinner there before the concert. My daughter was about 10 in this picture. She is 28 years old now.
Monday, November 10, 2008
On a different note....
When my daughter was about 10 or 11 she was a big New Kids On The Block fan. She had everything they ever made for those boys. She had posters and pins and bedspreads and pillows and dolls and shoes and tshirts and hats. You name it she probably had it. We went to several concerts and even drove across the state to see them and ended up staying in the same hotel as they did. So this year when the New Kids On The Block announced that they were doing a reunion tour i knew i had to buy her some tickets for her 28th birthday in August. Tonight is the concert. She dressed in black leggens and a silver shimmery flowing tank top with a black leather jacket over it. She wore black boots that zipped up to her knees and hid her camera under her armpit. She's come a long way from the Hanging Tough Tshirt and the air brushed blue jeans that said NKOTB.
As she was leaving she told me that if there was an after party, her and her friend were going. I told her to make sure she aired up the back tire and to bring extra clothes and shoes just in case. Its kinda cold tonight.
I'm still her Mom ya know....
I'll post pictures of the concert tomorrow.