Sunday, May 31, 2009

An Oldie But a Goodie.

I was going thru my old AOL journal entries and found this one. It made me laugh. I needed a good laugh. Hope you enjoy it.

Over The Rainbow

The Wizard of Oz was on the other night.

Have you ever really stopped and thought about this movie?

It really was all Totos fault that Dorothy got into the trouble she got into.

Think about it....

Toto got the crazy towns lady mad.

Crazy towns lady took Toto who promptly got away.

Dorothy runs away so Toto doesnt get sent up the river and winds up getting caught up in a Twister.

Dorothy and Toto spin round and round in her little black and white house then end up in a land of phsychadelic Munchkins where she kills a bad witch with her house and gets the bad gals ruby slippers from a good witch only to have the bad witches' sister, Wickeder witch come gunning for her thru out the land of yellow brick roads and talking scarecrows and walking tinmans and cowardly lions.

"I'll get you my pretty...and your little dog toooo!"

Dorothy battles talking trees and sleep induced flowers only to be confronted by a fake wizard that Toto exposes and then gets kidnapped by a bunch of flying monkeys!

The broom she was instructed to get was a scam. The wizard was a scam. The Scarecrow really did have a brain. The Tinman had a heart and the Cowardly Lion showed his courage.

The only good thing outta infiltrating the witchs' castle was that when the witch melted, those funky monkeys turned into real soldiers who had been trapped by the wicked witchs' spell. Hail Dorothy!

When the fake wizard tells Dorothy that she can hitch a ride to Kansas with him in his hot air balloon, she jumps at the chance! But then Toto takes off and she runs after him and the hot air balloon takes off and he cant steer it to come back for Dorothy.

Drats! That dang dog!

But wait!

Glinda the good witch appears and tells Dorothy that she has always had the power to go back to Kansas. She didnt tell her before because Dorothy had to learn it for herself.

Ok, so now all she has to do is click her heels together, close her eyes and say...

"Theres no place like home. Theres no place like home..."

What kinda hippie haze was Dorothy in? Was Toto really a metaphor for some hyped up hippie crank?

If not...well this is where i would have punched Glinda in the nose and got back to Kansas and had Toto fixed.

"Toto....i dont think we're in Kansas anymore..."

Till later...Ü

Sunday, May 17, 2009

The Ex Has Three Ex's

Now if they all lived in Texas we might have a song.

If any of you read my old AOL blog you might remember a couple years back when my exhusband got remarried. He married this gal he had been seeing for a while and she seemed really nice. She got along with everyone including me, the ex wife. They got married and had a Harley wedding. Remember now? Everyone was to come dressed in Harley Davidson attire. They even invited me. I didnt go.

Well...about a month ago. The same day my sister died to be exact, she left him. Didnt tell him though. Just up and left. And took 9 grand with her. He didnt even know she left until she didnt show up to work. He owns a business and she works for him. He tried to reach her on the phone but she wouldnt answer. Finally she talked to him and told her she wasnt coming back. She left Illinois and ended up in Mississippi. She called him one night and told him that she was all alone on the beach and she was lonely. She was trying to make him feel bad. WTF? Of course i get all this info from my daughter who he now confides everything in. According to his soon to be ex wife's daughters she does this every five years. Hooks up with a guy with a little bit of loot, stays with them for about five years and then splits. He said he wished someone would have told him that five years ago.

His ex wives irritate me. I mean come on! Wife #2 got the house and a car and a boat outta the divorce. Wife #3 got everything she ever wanted when she was married to him. And wife #1 (me) didnt get shit. I got a housefull of used hand me down furniture and $35.00 a week child support. I paid for everything else that my kid needed. He couldnt even help her with a car these past few years when he knew i had one vehicle and we were trying to transport 7 people around.
But i digress.
I kinda feel sorry for him.
Poor guy.
He just cant find the right woman.

Till Later..

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Too Much Carnival At The End Of The Day

When i woke up about 2 hours ago i thought it was 2:30 in the morning.
It wasnt. It was about 10:00 at night. We had a really long day today. It was school carnival day and we spent most of the entire day there. Then the kids went to thier grandpa's house for a birthday party so when they got home they were pretty tired. We all fell asleep early. The kids fell asleep before 9:00 pm while they were watching a movie and i went and layed down for a minute in my room. Next thing i know i am being woken up by my middle granddaughter coughing. She had layed down next to me sometime while i was sleeping.I woke to her throwing up all over the sheets on my bed. She was covered from her head to her waist in puke.She had a little too much carnival. With only a funnel cake and a snow cone in her stomach earlier and riding all those jerky rides i guess it was inevitable. I got her up out of bed and into the shower. I contemplated washing the sheets but decided that the clothes she was wearing and the sheets on the bed were colateral damage so i threw them in a trash bag and out the back door by the trash bins. I had to scrub the spot on my bed with clorox bleach wipes and got her clean clothes and put her back to bed.
So here i am awake. I just cleaned up a pukey mess, am sunburned across my face, arms, neck and feet and have just remembered that i bought a gallon of vanilla ice cream and have no idea where it is!
Oh and i think i have an eyelash in my eyeball!
My oldest grandgirlie and all her 5th grade classmates volunteered for a booth at the school carnival.
The pie throwing booth.
They were the targets.
My grandgirlie is in the middle.

Till Later...:o)

Tuesday, May 5, 2009


Is it just me or does everyone have tons of crap saved to thier favorites?

Today i decided it was time to get rid of some of the useless stuff i have saved in my favorites. I knew there was a lot of stuff but i didnt realize just how much stuff ( aka crap ) that i have saved in there.
What the hell? That recipe sounds kinda gross.
Or how about this WEIRD AL YANKOVIC - WHITE & NERDY LYRICS. The title describes me to a T.
Or this one The Official Leif Garrett Website. Yes. I was in love with the now balding ex actor ex musician (?). I'd still date him if he asked me.

Same thing with these guys Unofficial Absolute Bay City Rollers website. I was in love with Woody. At the age of 14 when my dad asked me who my favorite was and i showed him a picture he said "He's a pretty boy isnt he." I didnt get it till years later.
Then there was this
I bought HP Sauce and Marmite once at a World Market in my area. The HP sauce was ok but the Marmite looked like tar and tasted really salty. Yuk!
How bout this one...Paul Revere's Ride
Then there are the GAZILLION AOL journal links i have in my favorites that link me to nowhere.
I use to analyze dreams...Dream Moods A-Z Dream Dictionary
And i use to look for George Where's George? ® 2.2
And what the heck??Gift Idea:
I remember this...Magic Roundabout
Everyone needs a good Halloween Trick or Treating joke..Kids' riddles - Halloween jokes - Online spooky games and crafts -
I will never live or visit one of these in my life...Castles of Britain
We always need to know this..General Theory of Relativity
Interested in some daily news? Home - LA Daily News
I need to delete all that stuff but i really doubt i'll get around to it. I'm exhausted now just from going thru it all!
Maybe i'll just make myself a drink and order some small clothing items online.
Till Later...Ü