I'm never going to get out of this mood.
I dont even think its a mood.
I dont know what it is.
I keep trying to get out of this funk.
I have no one that i can really open up and talk to about this.
I have lots of friends but why would i burden them.
Nothing makes me truely smile anymore.
I take that back. This old lady comedian on America's Got Talent made me smile.
She made me actually laugh from deep down in my gut.
She was funny.
But that show only comes on twice a week.
Someone asked me once if my name was Apron Boobs Face or Dave.
That made me laugh an old familiar laugh.
I took my kids to an outdoor musical last night.
We saw "Meet Me In St Louis".
There was real shooting up to the sky fireworks at the end.
That made me smile.
My kids make me smile a lot.
But thats different.
They dont know how sad i really am.
I dont want them to know.
I am so sad.
I miss my sister.