The Call

Have you ever just dreaded getting that call?
Doesnt matter who its from. Its the one thats always bad news.
Ive been getting a lot of those calls this week.
My sister has been in the hospital for about 12 days. She was pretty healthy except for her breathing. She was on oxygen 24 hours a day and was a diabetic. It didnt stop her. She got around ok and was very relied upon for many things.
The first call came last Friday AM. The doctor called to say that he didnt think she was going to make it thru this incident. She was put on a ventilator and her stats were steadily getting worse.
Then the next call came late Saturday night. The weekend doctor didnt think she was going to make it thru the night.
They kept asking us if we wanted them to do CPR if her heart stopped.
Uh.
YES!
She doesnt want to die!
Then the next call came Tuesday morning. I couldnt call them back. I called my sister-in-law to call them. I couldnt handle any more bad news. It was just the same thing. Her stats werent any better and the outlook wasnt good.

I went to see her last night. I held her hand and talked to her. She was heavily sedated so i dont know if she heard me but i still talked to her. I told her we all loved her and that we were going to make sure they figured out what was going on with her. (They really didnt know. A nurse mentioned an inflamed gallbladder but at this point it was too risky to do surgery). I told her that i had it on NBC so she could hear Wheel Of Fortune. I told her funny stories about the kids. I rubbed her forhead and pushed back her hair. I stayed for a while and then i left.
I wish i would have stayed.
Because i got that call.
At about 1:30 this morning. It woke me up but i didnt get to the phone before it stopped ringing.
The message said that Laura had an "incident" tonight and that they needed me to call. So i called immediately.
"This is Terry, Laura's sister. Someone just called me?"
"Oh..Yes. (calm like she was talking to a co worker tone of voice) Your sister's heart stopped and they are doing CPR on her right now. Do you want us to continue CPR".
"Oh!? Yes! Do everything you can!"
"Ok then. (to someone else) You want to talk to her?Oh Ok."
"(Stern woman voice) Miss Fox your sister's heart has stopped and we are doing CPR do you want us to continue?"
"Uh YESS! DO EVERYTHING YOU CAN!"
"We've been doing it for 15-20 minutes. We will continue for only 10 more minutes. Will you be on your way here?"
"YES!"
I met my brother and sister-in-law in the hospital parking lot and went in.
We walked in and a nurse said "here's the family".
We were greeted by a nurse and a minister. No doctor. Where was the doctor? Did they leave the life or death decision to the nurses?
"We're sorry to have to tell you......"
My sister-in-law went in and seen my sister. I couldnt. I asked her how she looked and she just shook her head. I didnt go in. Neither did my brother. He couldnt. Finding my mother and giving her CPR was too fresh of a memory for him.
A doctor never came in to see us. We ordered an autopsy.
The hospital missed something.
When my sister went into the hospital she was having some breathing difficulties. Her heart was fine. All her organs were fine.
The doctors never could give us a straight answer as to why she went down hill so fast.

My sister is gone. I havent told the kids yet. It still seems so unreal.
I dont know what i'm going to do without her.

Till Later...